Wednesday, 13 April 2016

Enough, the foundation from which to grow

Welcome each new day with an open heart

Sometimes, you awake feeling fresh, alive and ready to face all the exciting new possibilities which await you.  And then there is the rest of the time.  If your alarm clock/phone was a person on the mornings when you aren't a morning person, you'd probably smack them in the face for rudely awaking you (I'm not being literal here, I'm far too polite to smack anyone in the face ~ although I may secretly want to from time to time). 

I am a true lover of all things mindful, spiritual, positive and anything which leans towards the creation of a more authentic life.  I'm a self confessed Spiritual Junkie  I meditate, I journal, I self-reflect (and excessively over-think), I attempt to keep a daily yoga practice (in the physical asana sense)~ and I strive to embody all the qualities which I have categorized as being the qualities of the type of individual I would like to become.  Being a positive morning person, each and everyday from the moment I open my eyes is one such quality I believe I ought to possess.

Herein lies my first fatal mistake.  I have created an imaginary individual based upon my imagined perception of individuals whom live a life in alignment with their true path.  I set myself up for failure right from the get-go.


Because in my attempts to become I'm quite blatantly telling myself that I am not enough as I am.

And I am.  We all are.  

So why is it so challenging to accept?  Why do we struggle to accept that we are enough, right as we are in this very moment?

We could suggest that it is the very design of the modern world in which we reside that leaves us with an uncomfortable feeling of lack.  We could naively blame Capitalist society and the monster which is the media (this isn't my personal impression of the media, I simply adopt this expression as part of my creative license).

Imagine, if you will, a world where everyone completely accepted themselves as they were, without the desire to change a single minute detail of that which combined together created them as a human being, there would be no beauty industry, there would be no wellness industry.  The self-help industry would be surplus to requirements, because we would all be bobbing along, content with our present moment and simply going with the flow.  

But it's not as black and white as that.

It's also not as simple as shifting blame to external sources.  To feel we are not enough because others have insinuated that we aren't.  Because we were neglected, not heard, rejected.  Because a teacher at primary school once told us our dreams would remain just that because we talked to much, or we were too hyper (or simply too busy being children).

If we choose to believe the bullshit that the so called everyone external to us tells us, then we are choosing to tell ourselves we are not enough.  We have to drop the line of vision which looks outside of ourselves for acceptance and validation, and turn our eyes inwards.

Accepting that we are enough exactly as we are, right in this moment, flaws and all, is the solid foundation on which to begin carving out our path towards the highest level of ourselves we can be.

Without this as our foundation, any attempts to grow and better ourselves are based in delusion.  We will try and fail time and time again because we do not accept that we are enough as we are at any given moment.

It is easy to sprout off words, encouraging us to accept ourselves, to believe we are enough.  And reading such words and positive, inspirational messages can and do allow us to feel empowered.  But in the end it is up to us to take those messages, to indoctrinate them within our very core, and believe it fully with every ounce of our being.  Without fully believing with our heart and soul that we are enough, simply repeating it to ourselves at the level of the mind will not suffice. We have to embody that belief.

And how do we do that?

By dropping every single thing we perceive to be us.  By showing our ego the door.  By connecting with our source energy, our essential self.  The only way which I know of that directs me towards my inner essential self is meditation.

I have gone awry many times in my attempts to reconnect through meditation practice.  This usually happens when I approach my practice as someone other than my authentic self.  It happens.  It happens alot when a person is so in the space and habit of the mind.  My mind ends up taking over the show and telling me what it wants my most inner essential self to be saying.  Basically I end up being carried away in a dialogue between two separate voices within my own head.  It happens - just think off all the times throughout the day when you find yourself engaged in a mind argument - provoked from something as simple as making a decision or doing the grocery shop; those beans are the ones I need for my recipe, but no these are much better, but I always use these, so loosen up stop being so rigid......and so it continues.

The best advice I've ever come across to help the journey inwards, is the simple suggestion to which we just follow our breath.  In doing so we journey inwards to that blissful space within us.  It takes practice.  It takes time.  If we are new to the practice of meditation it will take a while to get into the swing of things.

Word of advice ~ drop all expectations of what we expect meditation to be.

Drop all expectations full stop.

In doing so, we awake in the morning and can simply be filled with gratitude at the fact that we have been gifted with the presence of a new day.  We can move forwards with fresh eyes and excitement if we drop expectation.  And we can change the tone of the alarm if it incites us with an irrational level of aggression. 

Without any preconceived ideas of how we think we ought to be feeling we can accept the present moment fully as ourselves.  And without expectations ~ we already know on a deep level that we are enough, exactly as we are.

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